Ranting today about a behavior pattern that shares a lot in common with mansplaining: interrupting someone whom you’ve just asked a question.
I just came back from Thanksgiving with my blood-family, and it explained to me a bit more why my parents can make me so crazy: they interrupt each other, constantly, over everything. It’d be sort of adorable if it didn’t generate so much frustration between them, when it could be easily solved by shutting the fuck up and practicing good conversation manners. I got it from them — I used to interrupt people constantly. I think I stopped a few years ago when I learned to unclench my butt, stop trying to top one story with another, and listen to what was actually being said. I’m now a lot better at letting people say their piece.
So I’m working away, and someone asks me a question about a MySQL thing. I was just about to give him the critical bit of the answer when he interrupted to repeat his base assumption, and the nice little train of thought happening in my brain hit a buffalo.
I paused and said “Please let me finish” and steamrollered on through, but then with a twinge in my gut like “was I just shockingly rude?”, which I’m not sure most folks experience.
Assorted style thoughts, marginally more coherent than STFU:
- Interrupting is saying to someone that you’re not actually interested. Don’t do it when you’re the one asking for their time.
- Read the docs.
- Speak in sentences that have endings. Use natural conversational pauses.
- Technical conversations are hard. Listen.